Musings from Dennis #284. Do you sometimes get bullied, feel misunderstood, mishandled, or told to do work that is clearly not in your JD? Same. Much as I try not to say it, I’ve had my fair share of rejections, blindsides, and outright bullying from co‑workers and bosses.
My first engineering job? I was treated like a go‑fer - errands, printing, parcel runs - work meant for the office boy. At Sentosa, a
co‑worker assumed he would be reporting into me. On Day One he wrote a
complaint letter against me, cc’ed the union, and left a copy in my in‑tray
saying I had no right to oversee him. At Pico Art, my boss corrected me in
front of clients, shook his head, and apologised to them for my “sloppiness.”
At Takashimaya, my boss told me never to speak to the sales manager again because
they didn’t get along. But I had to because it was a work requirement. On my
last day, she said I’d leave without fanfare and everyone would forget me - yet
her senior quietly brought me to the store’s Managing Director, who thanked me
personally for my service.
At Disney, the SVP (via HR) asked me to take his car for
petrol and servicing whenever he was overseas, which I did. My direct boss
yelled frequently, cut me off mid‑sentence in team meetings, and once drove me
to tears. I nearly quit without a job.
Even at Viacom Nickelodeon, there were whispers that came to
my ears: Why is he always travelling to that market? Does he have a second
family there? (Truth: the market had been neglected for years despite being a
KPI.)
Looking back, some of these moments were hilarious. At the
time, they were miserable. Lonely. Crushing.
So how did I stay the course and never quit?
I decided my Locus of Control would sit firmly within
me. I refused to let external chaos dictate my internal state. I held on to the
ABCs - Antecedents trigger Behaviour, and Behaviour leads to
Consequences. If I reacted badly, the consequences would be worse.
And I had a wise counsellor in my wife, who reminded me that
every incident was a building block — expanding my experience or toughening me
for whatever worse situations might come.
If you’re facing something similar now, don’t be
disheartened. Your situation is uniquely yours, but I hope my story helps you
survive, and eventually, thrive.